


A Little Playful Cisphobia

by cipherwriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cis Dean, Gen, Queer Themes, Trans Castiel (Supernatural), Trans Sam Winchester, and instead making it cis dean with trans sam and cas, btw sam is specifically transfem, he’s still queer though, this is me opposing the cishet ally sam trope, very slight internalized transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29994945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cipherwriter/pseuds/cipherwriter
Summary: Sam and Cas are so fun and so genderweird. Dean is trying his best.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel & Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, very lightly implied destiel
Comments: 42
Kudos: 113





	A Little Playful Cisphobia

**Author's Note:**

> i know nothing about the queer politics or culture of 2005 and it shows. this jumps around the timeline a bit though so it’s okay. anyway i hope you guys like this it was very fun!

The first time Sam does it, it kind of just… slips out. She’s so used to being with her friends at Stanford, all queer and many trans like her, so she’s made these kinds of jokes a lot in the last few years as she’s gotten more comfortable in her identity.

Point is, they don’t think much of it when, after Dean tells them they can’t play any of their “emo kid bullshit,” they grumble, jokingly, “Okay, fine, transphobia wins I guess.”

Dean’s head whips over to her in the passenger seat, his eyes wide. “Wait is that- am I being transphobic right now?”

Sam debates with herself what to say to this. On the one hand, no, it is not transphobic, and the fact that Dean cares about that stuff is honestly a pleasant surprise. Sam had been pretty sure (though not positive) that Dean would be _alright_ with the fact that they’re trans, in the most basic sense, but they hadn’t expected much more than that. She didn’t think he’d ask questions and try to understand her gender as much as she’s willing to explain, or ask if they needed to get new IDs or introduce her differently to other hunters or something, like he has. Hell, she’d hardly even expected him to change the pronouns he uses for her. He’s trying hard, and being a good ally, a good brother, and Sam shouldn’t take advantage of that.

On the other hand. It is pretty funny.

“Yeah, I mean, emo music, the emo scene, it’s, like, full of queer people,” Sam says. It’s not even untrue, she could pull up some albums right now by trans artists (which, yeah, may not all be emo specifically, but Dean will call anything made after 1990 with some emotions in it “emo” so). Not that she will play those right now, though. That’s for a time when they’re not being a little shit to their brother. Now is the time to lie and bullshit. “So cause the scene is so trans it’s kind of transphobic to be against the music, you know? Like, just let me play this one song, okay?” 

Sam reaches around in the backseat to get the few CDs she still has, finally grabbing her copy of Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. They have it on their mp3 player too, of course, but they wanted to keep the actual physical copy as well. They were totally obsessed with this album when it first came out, but for now, they just load up the relevant song.

Sam screams along with the song, especially (for Dean’s sake, and the sake of the bit) the lines _“Well don’t i look pretty walking down the street in the best damn dress I own?”_ The rest she screams with just for fun (which, really, is what all this is).

At the closing of the song, she turns down the volume on the radio as “To The End” starts up next and turns to Dean. He’s looking straight ahead at the road, two hands solidly on the wheel. “So,” Sam says, trying to keep their smirk in check, “what’d you think?”

Dean shifts around a little in his seat, eyes darting over to Sam for a second. “Well, it was definitely, uh, interesting, I guess.” He clears his throat. “Good, uh- Good guitars.” 

Sam can practically see the gears working in Dean’s head to give him something positive to say about it, and she breaks. 

Dean looks at Sam, confusion and some slight alarm on his face while Sam laughs, bright and clear. It quickly turns into irritation when the deer in headlights expression on his face makes Sam laugh even harder.

“Ah, fuck you, Sammy. Did you mean any of that shit you were saying?”

Sam shakes her head, not able to get much out in her laughter. Dean levels them with a glare.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says, unconvincingly since she’s still laughing. “It was just too good!”

“I’m trying here, kid, that was a dick move!”

“C’mon Dean, don’t be like that.” Sam calms their laughter and catches their breath. “Listen, it was just, like, a trans joke that I used to make with my Stanford friends. Hey, if anything, it shows I’m comfortable around you,” Sam explains, finally. As funny as it was to see Dean look so alarmed at overstepping—concern over being insensitive was a very new look on him—Sam didn’t actually want him to be uncomfortable and always second guessing himself around her. Not that he shouldn’t be careful and respectful, of course, but Sam didn’t want everything to be weird with her brother walking on eggshells. 

“So it’s not just a joke you make at… uh… at the expense of people like me? Who aren’t trans?” Dean asks, still looking at the road.

“Cis people? No, man, it’s just funny,” Sam says. “Like, for anything. I’d see that the dining hall was out of smoothies and be like ‘wow, so transphobic.’ It’s chill.”

Dean visibly relaxed back into his seat, then looked over at Sam and flashed them a smile. “Okay, good, cause I think if I actually had to listen to that shit all the time I’d blow my brains out.”

“Oh shut up, jerk, it’s good and you know it, you just don’t wanna admit it cause you’re a twenty-seven year-old old man,” Sam laughs back.

“Yeah, right, bitch,” Dean says, but he still turns the dial on the radio up and lets the CD keep playing, Sam keep singing.

*

When Cas joins the team, it only gets worse. On Dean, that is. Sam _loves_ the development.

“Wait, so you used to be in a female body?” Sam asks Cas one day from the passenger seat as Cas sits in the back of the Impala.

“Yes. It didn’t suit me, though,” Cas answers. “This one is much more… comfortable, I suppose.”

“Dude, are you trans? Like me?” Sam asks. She can’t help but feel pretty excited at the idea of Cas, an angel, one of the best people she knows and certainly the holiest one, being trans like her. Makes her feel maybe a bit less, well, bad about it.

“In a manner of speaking, yes, I guess I am,” Cas answers after a moment. “I don’t believe my gender is exactly like yours, though. I don’t exactly understand how the whole thing works. But I do believe I would consider my gender, approximately, as a gay man, but with more emphasis on the gay part than the man part.”

Dean chokes in the driver’s seat, otherwise having sat in uncomfortable silence for the whole conversation. 

“You alright there, Dean?” Sam asks with a little smirk. 

“Yeah, totally, why wouldn’t I be?” Dean says quickly. “I just, wow, Cas, I didn’t realize you were gay! Must’ve made that time I took you to the prostitutes pretty awkward, huh?”

“You did _what?_ ” Sam asks at the same time that Cas says, “Yes, that was rather unpleasant.”

Dean gives Sam a little awkward smile that’s trying very hard not to be a grimace. Sam gives him a look that says ‘we are not done talking about this’ and then looks back to Cas.

“I’m actually a lot like that, Cas, my gender is basically just lesbian,” Sam says. “Nothing else really makes sense.”

“I thought humans had more innate understanding of gender than angels.” That angel sure knows how to tilt his head. This time he furrows his brows too, though.

“I mean, maybe some of us do, like this loser—”at this, Sam pats Dean on the shoulder, who squawks out a disgruntled “hey!”—“but not all of us are so basic.”

“You know, I’m still right here,” Dean grumbles.

“Yeah, I know. What, am I wrong? Are you confused about your gender?” Sam asks, only half joking. They don’t think Dean is anything other than cis, but they also wouldn’t be all too surprised if he were. Sam’s already sure he’s some kind of queer, even though she’s not sure if Dean knows that yet.

“Pfft, no!” Dean says instantly and defensively, which doesn’t actually clear anything up for Sam. “I’m a man, all the way, through and through.”

“I am curious what that actually means for you,” Cas says. “I’ve always found gender difficult to truly understand, and you, as a human with a full understanding of your gender, seem like a good person to ask about it.”

Dean definitely turns red, Sam would swear her life on it. They can practically see the steam coming off him.

“Yeah, Dean, why don’t you tell us about your gender?” Sam loves this. This is everything they’ve ever wanted. Not only seeing Dean try to deconstruct his gender, which is hilarious, but also just seeing a cis person expected, for once, to explain their gender to trans people. Sam and Cas, teaming up to flip the gender narrative.

“Well-... you see,” Dean starts, right hand raised to gesture fruitlessly, as if if he waves his hand enough he'll find and grasp the innate qualities of his gender. “Look, I’m a man because. Fuck. Because I just am!” 

“You don’t seem to understand your gender that much either,” Cas says, frowning slightly.

“Yeah, lots of cis people don’t actually really get gender either, they just never have to think about it,” Sam says. “We can get you some books on gender theory though, if you want to learn some more.”

Cas and Sam continue their conversation about the absurdity of gender as they drive. Sam pretends not to see Dean still looking intense and kind of red.

*

Cas and Sam talk about gender more, not always around Dean. They have their own lives. Together, they go to the local farmers’ markets, and sometimes on these trips they like to have little gender chats.

Sam appreciates it. Cas does too, of course, but gender-wise, at least, he has an easier time around other hunters. Other people in general, honestly. Sam needs someone to talk about their experiences with far more than Cas does.

The other upside of these chats is entirely blindsiding Dean when they talk gender around him again, having all sorts of new lingo he’s never heard that leaves him baffled.

Sam cuts her bangs again, hair longer now than last time she had them, and dyes it all black. Cas says, “I like your new hair. It reminds me of Joan of Arc.” 

“Dude, that is so gender,” Sam says, since it is, in fact, incredibly gender. They can feel Dean’s confusion, but you know what, they’ll wait until he asks. Because that’s funny.

It takes a couple weeks. In that time, Sam has referred to a new ankle length lacey black skirt, a stained glass window, an ornately embossed brown leather book, and a weird, rusty, super old knife they found in the bunker as, simply, “gender.” They’d even, at one point, while Dean got gas and everyone stepped out of the Impala to stretch their legs, pointed out at an oil puddle with its little rainbow sheen to Cas, saying, “Check it out, it’s your gender,” to which Cas had chuckled and said, “Yes, that is pretty ‘gender.’” 

When they all sit back down in the car, Dean kind of just sits behind the wheel for a moment. Then, finally, he asks, “What the fuck does ‘gender’ mean?”

Sam breaks into a giddily delighted little grin and opens her mouth, but Dean cuts her off, “ _Don’t_ answer that, I didn’t word it right. I mean, why do the two of you keep calling random bullshit gender?”

“Because, Dean, the ‘random bullshit’ is all very gender,” Sam says, quite rationally.

“You have to know that doesn’t mean anything to me, Sam.”

“It’s just, like, stuff that… feels like my gender, I guess,” Sam answers, legitimately this time. “It’s a trans thing, like, um, gender envy. You wanna, I don’t know, express gender like the thing.” 

“But a book? An oil puddle?” Dean asks, and he sounds so out of his depth it’s funny.

“I believe I can explain in a way that might make some sense,” Cas says from the backseat.

“Please do.”

“It is like my true form. It is impossible for people like you, Dean, to perceive, but it still expresses itself in other ways,” Cas explains simply.

“You’re gonna have to give me a bit more than that, Cas,” Dean says.

“My gender is my true form,” he says patiently, and Sam is eating this up. She’s so used to seeing Dean explaining things to Cas like he’s dumb, so it’s about time Cas gets to do it. And about a human culture thing too! “It is impossible for most to perceive, but it can be shown in other ways, like the oil puddle. It is not necessarily the gender itself, but it reflects or represents it. It simply resonates with the way I feel gender.”

Dean looks deep in thought for a second. “So calling something ‘gender’ is a good thing?” he clarifies.

“Yes,” Sam and Cas say in unison.

“Alright. Okay. I’ll be totally open here-“

“That’s a first.”

“Shut up, asshole. I’m saying I don’t really get it, totally, but I have some idea, and all I really need to know is if it’s good or bad.” Then he looks over at Sam, somewhat cautious. “That _is_ all I really need to get, right?”

“Yeah, you’re good, don’t worry. It’s just for fun,” Sam answers with an easy smile.

And Dean smiles back at her, and they drive off.

Later, when Sam gives herself a nose ring in the bunker’s bathroom, Dean calls it “super gender.” And that’s very fun, in Sam’s book. 

They know their expectations of acceptance had been appallingly low when they were younger, and that obviously they deserve full, loving enthusiasm for their identity, but they can’t help but feel grateful and incredibly lucky when Dean is so good. He might not always get everything about Sam’s gender, like how she’s kind of a girl but also doesn’t mind Dean calling her brother sometimes, or how she sometimes wants to wear flowy, girly clothes but still always loves how she looks in a suit during cases, but Sam doesn’t always get everything about her gender either. When it’s important, though, Dean will have all those intellectual and emotional conversations he normally hates just so he can understand. 

Then again, he should be thankful to Sam, too. All these in depth conversations are the only reason he ever figured out he’s bi.

**Author's Note:**

> rebloggable on tumblr [here](https://bloodfreakatstanforddotedu.tumblr.com/post/645466754979708928/a-little-playful-cisphobia-cipherwriter)
> 
> also i definitely took some inspiration from deanwinchestergender on tumblr, who is a genius with trans sam


End file.
